Trash the NHL (all-star edition): Part 2!
Friday February 16th, '07!
“It’s not going to help me much, I’ll tell you that.” – Rod Brind’Amour
As expected, the new jerseys they unveiled were pretty stupid. In case you don’t understand what I just said, let me put in in hockey terms: The new uniform system they unveiled… was pretty stupid. The players don’t like them, and they’re just something more for the league to ram down the throats of its players and fans. They supposedly ‘improve the comfort, speed, and saftey of the players.’ First of all, a shirt made of different material is going to do nothing to improve safety. In fact, in USA Today, Kyle McLaren pointed out that they may in fact do the exact opposite by making a player’s injuries more visible, and painting a bullseye on the injury for opposing players. That same USA Today article points to the decreased weight of the new uniforms. A decrease of 14% – or “more than a six ounce puck in weight.” Let’s assume those scientists really worked overtime, and were able to reduce the weight of the uniform by seven ounces. Zdeno Chara weighs 260 pounds. Or 4,160 ounces. They’ve managed to reduce his weight by 0.0016%. The only place where you can weigh 260 pounds and care that you lost seven ounces is at a Weight Watchers meeting, not in the National Hockey League.
Furthermore, the ’14% weight reduction’ figure strikes me as flawed to begin with. They claim through the “uniform system” – which includes a jersey, socks, and a “core body protector” (a.k.a. hockey pants) – the weight of the uniform is reduced by ‘over six ounces.’ However, a standard hockey jersey and a pair of socks may or may not even weigh six ounces to begin with. Where they seem to have made a great deal of this ‘weight reduction’ is in the new pants. This is flawed for a number of reasons. One being the obvious reason that they’re greatly distorting the truth, and their data by using it in this way. Another is that every year hockey manufacturers make lighter hockey pants, as well as making every other piece of equipment. This is neither revolutionary, nor the sole domain of the NHL and Reebok. But likely the biggest matzah ball that has stained their argument of reducing the uniforms’ weight through the weight of the pants is this: They will require every player in the league to wear the new jerseys and socks, but not the pants. So the only way in which the “uniform system” could possibly make players lighter is the only one that they are not expected to wear, and presumably will choose not to wear.
They will choose not to wear the new pants for a crucial reason, and it is also a crucial reason that the new uniforms are an ill-conceived, heavy-handed cash grab. Hockey players more than anything else, are creatures of habit with their equipment. They by and large do not care if a new piece of equipment makes them 4 degrees cooler at the end of the game, or generates 9% less wind drag in MIT wind-tunnel testing. There are pairs of shoulder pads that will be worn under the new jerseys that are probably older than I am. And this is because above what science tells them, hockey players value their own comfort and personal choice with their equipment. They make a change when they want to, and when they see a new product as being truly to their benefit, and in the case of the “RBK Edge Uniform System” (or “the new hockey sweaters” if you don’t work for the NHL head office) they are not being given that choice.
If these new uniforms actually provided any real, noticeable benefits to the players, they would not need to force them upon them. They could give them the option of the old uniforms or the new ones, and they would just pick the new ones, because they wanted to be dryer, faster, and safer, and could see how the new uniforms did that. But the fact is that I have never heard an NHL player complain that his jersey was too sweaty at the end of the game, that he was getting too much wind resistance, or that he didn’t feel safe with his uniform. The NHL can say this is for the players’ benefit all they want, but it is transparent as can be that this move, like any others the NHL makes, is not for the benefit of its players or its fans, but for the benefit of Reebok’s, and its own bottom line. The real change made by the new “uniform system” will not be felt at ice level, but at the retail level. Where they can sell the “Edge” jersey to fans (whose old jerseys are now obsolete) and to college, high school and minor hockey teams accross North America who want the look and reduced wind drag that the pros enjoy. All at a mere three hundred dollars a pop. My hat goes off to the National Hockey League for the great care it continues to take for the interests of its fans and players.
